Bounding up the centre of our home, currently decorated in the genre of piled junk and unopened boxes, came a black  helmet clad mini-bikie! Pulling off the helmet the minute and excited lady beneath exclaimed, How long have you been here?

She wasn't at all what I had expected when my 8 year old had exclaimed, "Mum there's bikies out the front and they're coming in here!" Although dressed in my nightie and being the first morning waking in our newly acquired Church style home I hadn't any expectations let alone an invasion of miniature bikies! So there I was dressed and sleepily replying, "Yesterday- we moved in yesterday."

"Can I have a look around?" said she, although she was dashing around the building as she spoke. " Yeh, just let me get some clothes on," I replied as I retreated behind a stack of boxes grappling with my clothes. Alas not quiet quickly enough as she raced off inviting the other bikers in to take a look!

"We were the first owners," she explained as I finally had myself covered. Shane, my husband finally appeared with a sideways glare from me that was likened to a laser gun armed with my annoyance. He later told me that he had squeezed into our caravan outside which was full of tools and gear only to become wedged firm while the sounds of motorbikes filled the front porch. Thoughts flew through his mind of the reputation of bikie gangs and their crimes- why were they here- would he have to fight? As he struggled to get free and rescue nightie clad me. By the time he could free himself they were already in the house and he knowingly was going to receive that glare from me! Luckily they were lovely people and we ended up chatting and having quite a laugh. They shared their history of being the once owners of the Church building, now our home. Promising to keep in touch which they have done, they spluttered a little then sped off into the distance as mysteriously as they had appeared. I felt guilty at the lack of power points and my shock at their arrival meant I could not offer them a nice cup of tea or any hospitality at all really. But hopefully we will be better equipped on their next now welcome and hopefully foreseen, bikie invasion.



Early one morning, dodging the squeaky floorboards and the creaking front door Shane crossed the front yard to reach our caravan annex now unhappily disguised as our temporary, bathroom and loo. Managing not to wake me his sleeping wife and our two children he sat calmly relaxing on the throne. The sounds of the local birds were the only noise and he pondered how quite and peaceful it was since we had moved here away from the city traffic sounds. His thoughts were interrupted by a strange clomping sound from outside the flap of the annex tent. He was about to rise and look when the answer revealed itself in the guise of a huge horse now entering the unzipped canvas doorway. Having a large horse hovering above you whilst on the loo could be quite daunting for some but Shane being Shane he just said, "Hello" and chatted away like they were old friends.

He did wonder if it was forming a que to use the facilities and what other farm animals may be in the line behind him but no, it was just one large horse in the tent and one grazing on our garden. Now how to get a horse to reverse out of a tent while one is cornered on the loo was a tough one for a mostly city bloke to work out but Far Lap did finally extract himself.

We aren't sure if he left because his curiosity was satisfied, he was bored with Shane's conversation or as our children will testify it's never good to take your turn in the loo after dad has been! Later that day upon telling our builder the story, he quibbed, "It could have been worse he could have come in rear end first!"



Shane Badman.    Copyright 2012.    Country I.T. Services